Thursday, May 28, 2015

Bless His Heart - An Ode to My Husband

Bless his heart!
It's a term they use a lot in movies and shows, but I never really say it. I've never really felt compelled.
Until now.


Adam.
Bless his heart.
I don't even know where to begin, but I do know that I am crazy lucky to have him. This guy puts up with my mood swings, helps hoist me off the couch, and picks up all the stuff I drop and kindly kick to the side (it's just not worth bending over at this point). Bless his kind, sweet heart.

No one told me what the last month of being pregnant in the summer would be like. Shame on you! ;) It's hot. I have nothing that fits --- except for Adam's larger t-shirts that I keep borrowing. And I'm always tired. But bless his heart. He puts up with it all. I'm pretty sure folks warned him, but was he really ready to experience me like this? Did he expect to have to help me get up? Did he expect the hangrys to be this bad? Did he know he would experience what it's like to have a child before he actually had one? I'll elaborate on that last one.

We were out on the town today doing a little shopping. It started out pretty fun with stops at Target and Best Buy and even a purchase! Hellooo endorphins! Then we got to the first grocery store. I was moving pretty slowly, but pushed onward. We meandered through the aisles putting items in our cart and marking lines through our list. Finally, we were ready to check-out. Unbenownst to me, I steered our cart to the slowest checker-outer in the store who also managed to crush/destroy our herbs. Ugh.

When we arrived at the second grocery store, our final stop, I was in fully hungry mode. I did my best to keep it  reigned in. But it got out. Kindly, Adam ignored my remarks and glares. Bless his heart. The entire drive home was spent with me wishing he'd stop at Zaxby's for some dinner. Of course, I got mad at him for not reading my mind. He didn't even get the mental message that I'd settle for a $5 Hot & Ready pizza! I got neither, and I was mad.

Before I knew it, we were home and Adam was unloading all the groceries. I was already mad at him, but I knew it was just the hangrys. So, I opened the fridge to get a snack and cure the problem. No Zaxby's in the fridge. No pizza. So I got out some cheese and a banana. But then I began crying. Like a giant ocean wave, fierce anger returned and washed over me again - I was mad at Adam for eating all the peanut butter because peanut butter would go great with cheese and a banana. Nevermind the fact that we haven't had peanut butter in a month.

With my tears drying up, I took my plate into LC's room to sit in the glider, eat, and fume. As I sat there in the quiet room, I could hear Adam getting ready to go to his class at the gym. It only made me angrier. He should be getting me Zaxby's! He should have bought me a house closer to a pizza place! The nerve of that man. (Bless his heart!) I could feel the waves of anger returning. I listened to his footsteps approach. Massive tears and mascara started to stream down my face as I tried to eat my cheese and banana between sobs. Unable to explain to my dear husband why I was crying hysterically in the baby's room balancing a plate of bananas and cheese on my belly, I couldn't help but realize how crazy that moment was and how lucky I am to have a guy who puts up with stuff like this. I tried to laugh, but I couldn't. It was more of a wailing hiccup gasp for air. At this point, trying to convince him I was fine, he should go to the gym, and I was upset we didn't have peanut butter was pretty difficult. Especially with red eyes, a stuffed up nose, and mascara running down my cheeks. Bless his heart.

I'm so glad I have such an amazing guy to go on this adventure with. <3



I love having someone who makes me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants. :) 






Sappy. I'm sorry.






I can't believe it's already week 35!



Tuesday, May 19, 2015

It Happened.

It happened this morning.
Between 8:30 - 9:00 a.m.
And it was gross.
So much that I actually squeaked when I saw it.

My bellybutton popped out. I admit that I tried to push it back in, but that didn't work.
We can go ahead and just put that occurrence on the list of things I won't miss about being preggers. Actually...

Things I Won't Miss About Being Pregnant

Gross Bellybutton
I've written about it before, but this whole Stretch Armstrong bellybutton phenomenon is not very pleasant. I really miss my perfect little pre-pregnancy bellybutton; will it return???


Not Bending
When folks laugh at you while bending over to pick up something, you know you must look funny. Most of the time, though, I just leave it where I dropped it. ;)


Heartburn
Gross.


Dubs
My face has always been the first place I gain weight, so it just goes without saying that I would gain weight there while eating pizza and growing a baby. I will not miss my double chin (Dubs). Ready for it to gooooo away.


Cankles
I've always little chicken legs, so when my legs and ankles are swollen now, it kinda looks like I'm normal. However, it hurts! And it looks weird. Imma need that stuff to de-puff and carry on with their chicken leg status.


Never-ending Hunger
If I thought I was an endless pit before Lydia Claire, I was greatly mistaken. I think about food 543,432,093 times a day. It was fun at first, but now I'm kinda tired of always being hungry.

Sweat Stash
I just get so hot....




But....


Things I Will Miss

Wiggles
I can't remember what it's like to not feel LC wiggle in there. :(

Lopsided Belly
I adore sporting a lopsided belly. She loves the right side of my body.

Belly Rubs & Conversations
Precious. Just precious.



 They love to talk to Mrs. Hill Jr. and give her rubs. :)



Attention
Yeah, I'm just being honest here. I've loved the attention folks give to pregnant ladies. People carry my things, hold open doors, and let me sit in their chairs. Gotta live it up for the next few weeks! ;)








The only reason it's in the picture is that I can't manage to get it through the door!
And it's kinda heavy. So Imma just let it hang out right there until AHill gets home...







Thursday, May 7, 2015

{Introvert}

Find.
A.
Partner.


I hated those words in school - hated. And I still do today.
Just ask any introvert! Those words effortlessly strike fear into the hearts of any and all introverted individuals - anxiety, cold sweats, unbridled awkwardness --- they all ensue.

Not only is finding a partner ofttimes an issue for introverts such as myself, but a plethora of other things cause anxiety as well. Public speaking. Being in a crowd of unfamiliar folks. Being the center of attention. Just thinking about it gives me the heebie jeebies!

This past Sunday and Monday, the heebie jeebies were in full force for this introvert. See, Lydia Claire and I were fortunate enough to be the guests of honor for not one but two baby showers. In the hours leading up to each shower, I was filled with excitement, anticipation, eagerness to see what adorable little things we would receive. Heebie jeebies never even crossed my mind.

Let's flash back to Sunday.
The tables were set, the decorations were hung, and the food was calling my name. It couldn't have been more perfect! As folks trickled in, I had the pleasure of greeting each familiar face - many of which I hadn't seen in a while. For a few folks, I had to issue apologies. With my tummy protruding a little further than normal, I ran into them full force - contact was made far before I had anticipated! They didn't seem to mind, though. Once they were settled, it was time for presents. Yes, the best part of a party.

Except....
All eyes were on me.
Annnnnd cue the awkwardness.
Immediately, I started to sweat.
Cue the super attractive sweat stash.
So feminine.
Lots of eyes still on me.
Pick up a gift. Open.
Have you seen how tiny baby clothes are? It's absolutely adorable.
And the blankets - geez - so cute your heart'll melt!
And then you pull out a gift and have no idea what it is. A burp cloth? A receiving blanket? What's  the difference anyway? And who cares!? It was all adorable.
Pick up another gift. Oooh, it's big.
Ooooh! It won't fit on my lap?
Put it on the floor.
Bend down....try to bend down.
Sweat.
Laugh it off.
Hope you are keeping your ankles crossed.
Wipe your sweat stash.
Grapple at something in the bag.
Oooooh and ahhhh.
Hope you don't look like a gigantic dork.
Hope these folks love you enough to ignore you looking like a gigantic dork if you do, in fact, look like a gigantic dork.
Which I invariably did.

But it was amazing and humbling, the love shown by friends, family, and coworkers.
My thanks just doesn't feel like enough.

My cup runneth over. :)







My precious mommy. And the most delicious cake ever. 



Love that sweet baby Bristol!



Cousin & BFF!



Blessings.



My fabulous mother-in-law Marynell.





Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Things That Start With B

Blog

This, ladies and gents, is my 100th blog post. Yowza! I can't believe I've been blogging that long! When I started writing back in 2011, I had no idea what all I'd talk about. And really, I was insanely nervous each time I posted a blog entry. I worried about how it would be perceived, what you'd say, etc. Over the course of the years, this blog has become a type of therapy for me and allowed me to push myself to write in different ways.

I remember how wishy washy I was when trying to decide on a title, though. Somehow, I settled on the title On Growing Up. I think it's been a nice fit. Guess it really is about growing up...



Belly

My belly is getting huge, y'all. Like to the point where it's tough to bend down. Honestly, I have to think twice when I drop something --- do I really need that??? At night, I feel like a poor turtle stranded on its back - I can't get up! And apparently, I have to get up at night ... a lot. 



Amazing maternity picture of my big ole belly! Can't wait to see the rest of 'em. 




Breech

I haven't told you this, but I've really been stressing over baby's position. She's been Frank breech for quite a while, all folded up like a taco. At our birthing class, everyone else's baby had already turned. Not ours! While the nurse teaching the class didn't feel too optimistic that she'd roll around, the doctor didn't seem too stressed about it. Two weeks ago, we went to have a 3D ultrasound. We got this really great 3D picture of her legs. :\ Yep. Breech. So, the technician suggested we reschedule and try again in a couple weeks. As any normal pregnant mother-to-be would do, I researched all the ways folks suggest trying to get a baby to turn. Elevating hips. Downward dog. There are lots of methods - ok and crazy - but none of them seemed to get baby moving. 

So, we went back this week. I fully expected to hear the same news: breech. I had felt no strange movement. She seemed to be kicking in the same spots. I'd pretty much given up all hope of a natural delivery and settled on a C-section. That sly little gal had flipped, though. She's head down and ready to roll! And we got the cutest little picture of her button nose, too!


Beauty

Recently, I stumbled upon a picture I had taken back in August. It was me in athletic clothes with measurements. I had done this as a part of a Get Fit Group, a way to keep up with fitness progress. It struck me at  how thin I was. Not too thin, just normal thin, and I had though I had a big belly! This photo made me look at my current shape with a new perspective. Sometimes I can't get over how beautiful this big, round bulge is. I can't get over how I can see it moving and twitching with her fierce, tiny movements. It really is such a beautiful, truly amazing phenomenon. 

And speaking of beauty, this little beauty finally has a name!


Yep, 4 names. It's like swirl ice-cream: if you can't choose, don't! ;)



Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Suddenly...

Spring is one of my favorite seasons. Well, I actually love all the seasons and enjoy the transition from one to the other, but spring is currently my favorite.

Anyways, I really like spring. I enjoy seeing the slow transition from blah, bleak winter to the bright green explosion nature showcases this time of year.

At my childhood home in Tennessee, we had this tree right outside our house guarding our driveway. It's the tree I would watch each year. It always told me when spring was coming. I'd watch every day as its strong branches slowly sprouted buds. Soon, there would be tiny, gorgeous leaves all over the place. I always though it looked like a painting in this stage; it was my favorite.

And that's how I knew spring had arrived.

Now, though, I feel like I've missed spring. The weather, the trees, the birds are all screaming it's here! ---and I missed it's arrival.

It seems like other things have happened rather suddenly this year, too.
Like my belly.
It's big.
And it's hard to get used to.
But suddenly it feels like it's here, my belly.
And suddenly it's incredibly difficult to get out of bed...
Or tie my shoes.
Paint my toes.
Or even find a shirt that fits!

Suddenly it's difficult to get comfortable in bed.
Or sleep.
Suddenly, I'm 30 weeks pregnant.
That means only 10 weeks to go. (Yikes! Where did all my prep time go?)

But most of all, it's suddenly difficult to not eat everything in sight. ;)



Right before I hit the couch for 4 hours straight after work! 




The sweet sweets at DHigh.



After packing up with all our goodies!



Love these ladies! 



I seriously wasn't kidding about the  it's suddenly difficult to not eat everything in sight comment. I've got one insatiable appetite. And that's exactly why I made a point to dine at Texas de Brazil this week. I prefaced the meal with friends by telling them that I was sorry if I embarrassed them and that it was okay to leave. ;) Luckily, they weren't embarrassed (that I know of), but I was the last one eating. And I ate a lot! Even my stretchy non-waistband maternity pants were tight!

Yum. Worth every penny. 




Monday, April 13, 2015

Weeks 28 & 29


Many folks have written about the "stillness of the night."
They've got it all wrong, though - the early morning hours is really when everything is still. And it's during those still hours of the early morning that I have some prolific thoughts. Prolific or delusional, I guess that's a call better left up to you. ;)

As I sat at the kitchen table this morning - wide awake, completely ready for school, and eating a hot breakfast at 6:00, I watched as a pesky bug  repeatedly flew into the window blinds. We have quite a few of these bugs, whatever they are, at our house, and a number of them manage to make it into the house. While they are annoying, I can't stand to kill them; instead, I scoop them up in my hand and fling them back out into the wild, suburban outdoors. Probably so they can just fly in again, but that's beside the point.

So, I sat watching this poor guy while munching on my breakfast burrito. I briefly thought about putting him out of his misery, but that thought was fleeting. Why would I do that? He's just doing the best he can.

I can kinda relate to that - I'm just doing the best I can.
Like when I choose Dairy Queen over the gym.
 --- I'm supposed to get plenty of dairy!
A nap over doing the dishes.
--- Baby must be having a growth spurt...
Or even when I kinda just look at papers I drop on the floor.
---Is it really worth bending down to pick that up right now? I mean, the last time I tried that, I nearly toppled over....
I'm doing the best I can at getting out of bed.
---It's not my fault I have to roll back and forth a couple times to gain momentum, heave myself up with all my might, and then hoist myself up the rest of the way! 

I'm simply doing the best I can. :)





Buddy also wanted to show you his side profile.







So exhausted today! 



I wrote the following last week. That whole blog didn't turn out to my liking, nor did it meet the approval of hubby or my mom. This part, though, I just couldn't scrap. However, I just couldn't seem to fit it in anywhere today. So, here's this terribly honest piece that fits nowhere but here on its own.


It's really hard for me to get out of bed these days. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I know I need to get moving so I can get to work on time. But I don't want to miss a movement. I don't want to squander those precious moments I have in the early morning hours with her and only her. No distractions. I lie in bed, hands gently cradling my belly, patiently yet impatiently awaiting another sign that she's awake with me. She's what makes me late for work. She's what makes me smile and laugh at the most random moments. She's what makes it worth it.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Nouns, Love, and Awe

Do you remember learning about nouns?
A person, place, or thing, right? Something you can feel, or as one of my more memorable teacher described it, something you can haul off and kick.


     Later on, we add that a noun can also be an idea, such as love. While you can't just kick love, you certainly can feel love. We talk about love in my classroom quite often. What food do you love? What person? What hobby? My students certainly know that I love my dog Buddy. And I really do. While he's ofttimes a nuisance, what with his constant click-clack padding around the house, high-pitched bark of a warning (THERE'S SOMEONE WALKING ON THE SIDEWALK!!! Oh, nevermind. False alarm.), and his undying need to be touched,  I still love him. Like, a lot.



     I'm pretty tight with my chum Buddy...Buddy Bear...Buddrow. Sometimes, we have staring matches. Just for the record, I typically emerge victorious. But it's during these times that I wonder how love comes to be. How I can possibly love a new person more than I love my husband, my family, my dog, or pizza. While I know it is possible, I just can't fathom a love like that just yet. With each mood swing, crying spell over an empty ice cream box, or powerful punch from within, I wonder about love.


     All while baby girl is showing her love through kicks and punches, she has an army of folks showing their love in a more thoughtful manner. I'm in awe of the acts of kindness already being shown for this unborn karate kid of mine. Simply in awe. I love it.

Quilt from our dear friend, the Browns. 

Also from the Browns. Leslie's got talent!

Handmade from one of my mom's pals in Tennessee. I love that each hand stitched bear is doing something different!

From Adam's super crafty mom. 

Blanket, hat, and boots from another one of mom's pals in Tennessee. This blanket is so soft!

While I'm truly in awe of the talent and love shown to baby girl, I'm also in awe of how much food I can pack away and how large I'm getting! ;)






Lydia Claire is my favorite. My maternal grandmother's name was Lydia, and I adore the love, patience, and kindness she always showed. And Claire. It just stuck. ;)