Intimidated and Insane.

Have you ever started talking without really having an idea of where it is you're going or what you really intended to say?

If you have, good. Then you can realate.
If you haven't, well. You're probably just kidding yourself. ;)

But that's just what this blog is.
I'm not sure why I'm writing it.
Or what it is I want to say.
I just know that I want to talk, and I've got the time.
Now let's hope the words flow like I want them to.
And you don't come to the last sentence wishing you hadn't wasted your time and vow to never read another blog.

I'm not sure if you know this or not, but blogging is pretty risky for an introvert like me.
Thinking it is one thing. Writing it down is another.
But sharing it?
Now that's what makes my stomach turn cartwheels. Every time I share a blog entry, I wonder...
Will anyone read it? Does anyone think like I do? Is someone going to think I'm crazy? 
Writing down moments and experiences of my life - the embarrassing, the imperfect, the insane - is one of the most intimidating things I've done.
But it's been good for me.
And I hope that the most recent intimidating/imperfect/insane experience will be the same--- in retrospect.

In December of 2010, Adam and I bought our first house. We were so excited. It was new. It was small. It was perfect. I remember eating lunch in the middle of our empty master bedroom right after closing. I couldn't believe that it was our house. Over the course of the next seven years, I planted. I painted. I loved that house so much. We had made it our own. But when Lydia came along, she made it HERS. Soon, our small house became much smaller. So we started looking. Then we started the intimidating process of selling.

Thankfully I never counted the number of times I questioned our choice to sell. It's probably close to the number of calories I consumed as I ate my emotions (hello brownies and ice-cream) while preparing our home for being shown. If I'd ever had a hard number, there's no doubt that I would have backed out.

The day it went on the market, I tried not to think. I secretly loathed every person who asked to come see the house. And as our realtor kept us updated, my desire to crawl into a dark corner grew. And grew. And grew. Thank goodness for my work friends who kept me as calm as possible and out of the dark corner. :)

By the end of the day, we had sorted through offers and selected one.
Thank goodness I only had to keep the house tidy for one day. ;)

Up until we started loading our stuff into a moving truck, I was in denial. I was sure something would go wrong.

Sad to leave our bffs!

But it didn't. We boxed up our 1400 square feet of belongings and hauled them to a storage unit. My life fit into one moderately sized storage unit. I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or not.

Bittersweet last picture in front of our first house.

Hubs driving a U-Haul like a boss!

Our temporary housing had fallen into place almost perfectly - a safe place to land until finding our next home.

Writing it, it sounds all too easy.
But this has been one of the most insane and intimidating seasons of our marriage.
I have about five outfits that I cycle through, so I feel like I'm always doing laundry.
---but at least I have a working washer and dryer?
Everything that I need  is somewhere in storage.
---but do I really need my brown wedges when the black ones will work just fine? 
And I'm just tired of being spread out.

Today as I prepared to have our best buds come over to play, I was cleaning the kitchen. I had a small panic attack as I realized only a couple of the glasses in the house were clean. And the ones that were "clean" probably were not because the dishwasher isn't the best. I quickly calmed down - I don't need to impress anyone, and certainly not our bffs.

So, is that what I wanted to write about?
Not sure.
Maybe I just wanted to share the pictures.
Maybe I just wanted to share our crazy.
Either way, I'm glad I shared.
And hopefully you'll come back to read again.


Now, some pictures that have very little to do with the blog. :) 

She was proud of herself for climbing the ladder.

Snuggles.

Umm, why you look so big, kid?

Friendos. 

Part of the messy life was discovering that Lydia Claire could open the front door by herself in our temporary house. When the door is open, the dogs run out. And where there are new smells, dogs will roam. Buddy and Gracie ran off and were gone for three nights. This crew helped me get them back from a dude who was going to keep them!