Don't take this the wrong way...

This is not what you think it might be.
Absolutely not.

I’m not whining.
Or throwing a pity party, for that matter.
Just keep that in mind.

Hokay. So, a little background information if we may:
This one time, I went to college in Alabama to become an English teacher and then I met a guy and this guy asked me to marry him and I did and then I moved to Alabama because he had gotten a job being an English teacher the year before I graduated and so it only seemed right to move where he was working but then Alabama got stupid and decided funding education was a bad idea so lots of teachers lost their jobs but not Adam because he rocks but then that really put a damper on my dream of being a teacher so I became a bank teller instead but I really didn’t like it because I wanted to teach.
So, that brings us to January 2011.
I was given the opportunity to fill a mid-year retirement, and of course, I jumped on it (like Tonto). All was going well until talk of proration and decreased funding began once again. We all know the last one in is the first one out, and so it was with me and my teaching job.

Now, here we be. Jobless. Gainfully unemployed. Not pulling my weight. An unproductive member of society. I’ve developed this grand routine of coffee drinkin and blog writin, though. Too bad I don’t get paid for that, because I’m awfully good at it. No, not the writing – the coffee drinking part. I’m also getting perty darn good at fillin’ out them applications, too, and I’m not even discriminating which ones I apply for:
-Clerical Aide
-Employee Relations Manager
-Preschool Teacher
-Preschool Assistant
-Infant Teacher
-Volunteer Coordinator
-Orthodontic Assistant
-Community Relations Specialist
-Child & Youth Program Assistant
-Office Personnel
-And of course, any and all school positions I see available.

I just love job hunting. This whole process really had me feeling good about myself (whoops! Don’t slip – that was just dripping with sarcasm) until yesterday when I got this check in the mail. You see, I really feel like I’m contributing to this household now.

Incase you can’t make it out (which you probably can't), that’s a big $3 check from Pinecone Research, baby. $3 – that’s almost a gallon of petrol. And I’m sure I can scrape up the other 60 cents to make it a whole gallon.
What to do, what to do, you know, since my huge Pinecone Research check won't even provide me with a week's worth of Ramen...

Maybe I could go be a truck driver or something.


  1. Janell, I was recently in that exact situation. Sans the husband. I was desperate and considered doing illegal ordering water, pouring it out, and refilling it with soda...and lying about not receiving a receipt with my meal and, in turn, getting said meal free.

    But seriously, I applied for random, mundane jobs, just to have an income. I went on Craigslist (which I've NEVER had good luck with) and applied for several jobs, one of which was prestigiously titled "Cherry Picker". I think the job read: 1) Must be 5 foot. 2) Must have at least 1 arm. 3) May or may not be human. We don't discriminate.

    But I didn't get the job. (I even sent in a picture of me standing beside the door at Steak and Shake that has the measurements on it. But it was a head shot, so maybe he or she questioned whether I met the second requirement.)

    Actually, I didn't get ANY of the jobs I applied for. But I just did like Tupac said and kept my head up.

    You will find something soon. And you will go on to do great things. As for me, I'm still just doing mediocre things...but maybe great things are ahead for me too! For the time being, keep on never know WHO will sneak up out of the past and leave a comment. :)

  2. I'm so glad you're stealthy, Ash. Stealthy, sneaky, and witty.

    As far as the Cherry Picker job goes, maybe it's best you didn't get that one since it is seasonal.

    Times are gettin hard.
    Guess what we g-on do...
    We gonna hustle, hustle, hustle hard.


Post a Comment

Popular Posts