Weeks 28 & 29
Many folks have written about the "stillness of the night."
They've got it all wrong, though - the early morning hours is really when everything is still. And it's during those still hours of the early morning that I have some prolific thoughts. Prolific or delusional, I guess that's a call better left up to you. ;)
As I sat at the kitchen table this morning - wide awake, completely ready for school, and eating a hot breakfast at 6:00, I watched as a pesky bug repeatedly flew into the window blinds. We have quite a few of these bugs, whatever they are, at our house, and a number of them manage to make it into the house. While they are annoying, I can't stand to kill them; instead, I scoop them up in my hand and fling them back out into the wild, suburban outdoors. Probably so they can just fly in again, but that's beside the point.
So, I sat watching this poor guy while munching on my breakfast burrito. I briefly thought about putting him out of his misery, but that thought was fleeting. Why would I do that? He's just doing the best he can.
I can kinda relate to that - I'm just doing the best I can.
Like when I choose Dairy Queen over the gym.
--- I'm supposed to get plenty of dairy!
A nap over doing the dishes.
--- Baby must be having a growth spurt...
Or even when I kinda just look at papers I drop on the floor.
---Is it really worth bending down to pick that up right now? I mean, the last time I tried that, I nearly toppled over....
I'm doing the best I can at getting out of bed.
---It's not my fault I have to roll back and forth a couple times to gain momentum, heave myself up with all my might, and then hoist myself up the rest of the way!
I'm simply doing the best I can. :)
Buddy also wanted to show you his side profile. |
So exhausted today! |
I wrote the following last week. That whole blog didn't turn out to my liking, nor did it meet the approval of hubby or my mom. This part, though, I just couldn't scrap. However, I just couldn't seem to fit it in anywhere today. So, here's this terribly honest piece that fits nowhere but here on its own.
It's really hard for me to get out of bed these days. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I know I need to get moving so I can get to work on time. But I don't want to miss a movement. I don't want to squander those precious moments I have in the early morning hours with her and only her. No distractions. I lie in bed, hands gently cradling my belly, patiently yet impatiently awaiting another sign that she's awake with me. She's what makes me late for work. She's what makes me smile and laugh at the most random moments. She's what makes it worth it.
It's really hard for me to get out of bed these days. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I know I need to get moving so I can get to work on time. But I don't want to miss a movement. I don't want to squander those precious moments I have in the early morning hours with her and only her. No distractions. I lie in bed, hands gently cradling my belly, patiently yet impatiently awaiting another sign that she's awake with me. She's what makes me late for work. She's what makes me smile and laugh at the most random moments. She's what makes it worth it.
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